White Day: Japanese Holiday

I wrote this once before, but it got lost somewhere when I tried switching my web host. So I am going to share this story again, because I find this funny. It is literally useless information but it is entertaining.

For those who do not know, I was born and raised in Japan. My earliest memory of Valentine’s Day, I had a big crush on a Korean boy in the 5th grade.  That was the first time I did that and I was terrified!

I put the box of chocolates, store bought, in his desk. We had the kind of school desk with a built-in shelf or cubby under the desk. I expected the gesture to be ignored. He would know who it was from, because I put my name on it. Did not do it anonymously. 

I guessed wrong, because I saw him approach me and I panicked and RAN. School was out and most kids were out of the building and most teachers were in the teachers lounge, so no one witnessed me running down the all-of-the-sudden very, very long hallway, ran down the stairs and stopped to listen. I heard running, so I hid (somewhere) and he passed me, still running. He went down the 1st floor hall, putting distance between us. I looked around, even looked outside, since the door was right there.

Thinking I lost him, I walked outside to the swings, which was the nearest thing to the building I could sit on. It was kind of in the corner so I wasn’t so exposed, but I was breathing so hard I had to sit down to calm my nerves. I was looking down at my feet still trying to slow my breathing, when I heard footsteps. I didn’t want to look, but I had to at this point. I held my breath as I looked up and there he was standing right in front of me. I wanted to disappear into the ground, but I just froze and held my breath as he took a moment, that felt like very long minutes, to thank me for the chocolates. I said you’re welcome and he walked away. I am pretty sure that was when I finally took a breath. Man was I terrified! Looking back on this now, what a well taught young man he was! 

My second most memorable Valentine’s Day was in a Japanese school. I learned pretty quick, Valentine’s Day was for girls to give their crush chocolates. Ideally, it was hand made to show their cooking skills. Girls who are good in the kitchen was desirable. 

I was in the 9th grade and there was a boy in my class I kind of liked, but didn’t have a huge crush on him. Valentine’s was getting close and every single girl, it seemed like, were getting hyped up about Valentine’s Day. The two friends I hung out with were chattering up a storm about making chocolates. They asked me if I was going to make any and I didn’t know for who I was supposed to do this for. They said, with exclamation, for that boy I like, of course! I didn’t like him enough to do all of that, but they dragged me into it. 

I honestly do not remember making anything, so I don’t know what actually went down in the kitchen, but I do remember finding his shoe cubby to leave my box of chocolates. I opened it and a bunch of boxes almost fell out. His shoe cubby was already full! I had no idea how popular he was until that moment. I carefully put my box in there and closed it. Making sure nothing fell out.

Side note on shoe cubbies. It’s located in the foyer of the school. Hundreds lined up in rows and also stacked up almost 6 feet high. Beside each row of shoe cubbies are lined with bamboo walkways so that you can step out of your shoes and up onto the bamboo walkway to swap into inside shoes, which are stored in the shoe cubby. Then you put your outside shoes in the cubby for the day.

Photo Credit: https://likewebov.life/

This time no one came running after me just to thank me for a box of Valentine chocolates. However, almost a month goes by and the girls are chattering again. They are chattering about White Day. What the fuck is White Day? One of my friends was like, “Oh there isn’t one in America?” 

Let me explain a little thing about Japan. When you are given something, it is rude not to give back. One day, I overheard a group of girls talking about someone’s birthday and without much thought, just because I heard it, I made it a point to remember the date and I got her a birthday present. Her response to her present was thank you and she would make sure to get me something for my birthday. I told her she didn’t have to “make sure” of anything. I did it because I wanted to. I had no idea they had the “always gift in return” culture.

So back to White Day! Japan created this holiday to, literally, fit their culture. You get a box of chocolates, you have to give a gift in return. The popular thing to get as a return gift was a handkerchief. So the girls were all excited about getting a handkerchief from their crush, as long as they gave them Valentine chocolates, of course.

My first thought was how much I didn’t care for an “obligatory” gift. My second thought was how much it would suck for the guy I gave chocolates to, considering how many boxes of chocolates I saw in his shoe cubby. People love the idea of being popular, but would it be worth being popular in a Japanese school? I certainly hoped buying all those handkerchiefs does not come out of their own allowance… That would suck! All his allowance… gone in one day… I felt bad for him and all the popular guys in grade school.

The day came and my not-really-my-crush approached me in the hallway, during recess, to hand me the handkerchief in person.

I think I would have ran again, if I knew what was happening, but I didn’t see this coming at all. Or maybe not… since he wasn’t someone I was hardcore crushing on. The handkerchief stayed in the box and I honestly have no idea what happened to it…. It probably ended up in the trash when my parents moved closer to Tokyo.

I joke about how I am Japanese at heart. I have no Japanese blood in me, but because I grew up there and lived in Japanese society, I tend to still do things the Japanese do. It took me a long time to be okay with showing up to a party with something for the party, like a bottle of wine or case of beer to share. I still remember when I get something from someone and try to return the gift at another occasion for them. If you get a birthday gift, you get a birthday gift for them. If you invite them to your house and they show up with something, you show up to their invite with something.

Here is another useless fun fact: I have never been to Okinawa, but they live in a different world. If they invite you into their house, in case they are doing it to be polite, you have to decline at least 3 times. If they are still insisting, they are genuinely wanting you to come inside.

This may be an old thing. Times may have changed for all I know…. It has been over 10 years since I moved to the United States. 10 years is enough time for big and unusual changes to happen.